4 months
sitting in front of the computer,
thinking of what happened,
thinking of what to write,
i feel so lost.

i'm at loss of how to react...
4 months is not a long time...
neither is it a short period of time...

in the changing room,
i looked up at you from the chair,
half of me wanted to hold you close, hug you and kiss you,
it was the first time in weeks when we're actually alone.
the other half of me felt so distant for you...
it wanted to pull me right out of the room,
my legs din budge...

i din asked to be put through all these torture...
all the tears i fought to keep them in my eyes...
is it so difficult for u?
to be there?
to be there for me when i need you?

what do i mean to you?
what does being in a relationship mean to you?
does it mean to be tied down?
having to answer to a person as to where you are going?
what you are doing 24/7?
no...
it does not mean that to me...
all i am asking of you is to be there for me...
be it 10 minutes a day, 5 minutes, a minute or even just 30 seconds for that matter...
i know you may be busy,
tired with the things that you have to do,
but i don't think i'm asking for alot...
we are all looking for the same thing and that is to be loved..
i need you.
i really do..