dorian grey
just came back from parkway...
been there for hours...
never do anything really constructive...
finished reading my dorian grey...
realised that dorian grey's role in the movie,
league of extraordinary gentlemen,
has been twisted... very twisted infact...
u can't kill him by just flashing the portrait in his face lar...
u can only kill him by destroying the portrait...
and the portrait is not that small...
its huge! live size...
and he(dorian grey) doesn't just leave his portrait lying around...
he hangs it up in his storeroom and locks it...
LOCKS the room...
twisted movie...

did my PA as well..
boss was late...

personally i dun feel that i deserve a 1 for personal learning lar...
its not like i dun bother to go search up and read up on my coffee stuff...
cafe practises and BAEs...
i've been doing coffee sampling with partners and customers on my shift...
i've even forked out money to buy food pairning just to bring out the characteristics of the coffee can?
true that i haven not done many big scale coffee samplings
but how do u expect me to do such a big sampling?
even with the help of a grp of SCMs,
its still very difficult lor...
bloody hell...
wadever lar...
as long as alison approves my post PA pay increment...
i think all the other SCMs gonna get 1 too lar...
since i can't complain much, i'll just blog here..
dun wan to be a difficult partner,
dun wan my self esteem to be trampled and walked over on...

you always seem to have so much to say when i want to ignore you...
and you've got nth to say when i am asking for attention...
do you know how irritating it is?
why dun you just leave me alone?
fuck out of my life if u have to...
maybe we are just different.
different people with different thoughts...
i dun deserve you..
and you, you dun deserve me.

emo-ing again
i dunno wad i'm feeling right now...
kinda messed up...

jia wei just told me abt the house agent and wad his mum said...
and i really dunno wad to say to him...
it feels so bad to have your best friend feeling upset and emo-ing and
you can't don't know wad to do or to say to make him feel better...
it feels really bad...
real bad...
haiz...

i read this too...
make my day... i hate guys who are late.. do i have lots of time to spare? i hate guys who expect me to pay.. do i look like a sugar daddy? i hate guys who likes to play guessing games.. am i a clairvoyant?

made me feel so bad...
its like my insides just churned...
wanna cry my eyes out now but i dun think i can...
never mind...
i'm just going to sleep it off...
bye for now...
good luck to me to stop emo-ing

razor cuts
bloody hell...
i cut myself with a razor yesterday...
3 cuts...
2 went deep enough to bleed...
only realised the 3rd one a while ago...

kinda slow i know...
but the 3rd cut din bleed ma,
so i din notice...
hehe

anyway, they are slowly healing...
hope they speed up though...

school was damn boring today...
had struct concrete dgn, air con
transport engineering, air con
geomatics... SUN!!!

went out in the sun for a while but got kicked back cos no vest...
ugly vest actually got use!
so the 4 of us self declare break lor...
had to find air con cos its really hot today...
went to com lab at T3o2...
got really bored cos there no internet connection...
wah kao...
SP leh...
computer lab got no internet connection...
wad the hell lor...

played with christie's new phone and help her sms kc...
keke... damn kinky...
got bored and started being crazy on mine...

arcarde at carrefour
went shopping with jia wei today...
retail therapy with best friend...
keep suaning each other all the way...
damn fun...

met him at noon at orchard mrt...
went for lunch at taka de central..

went to FOX after that,
got a basic tee...

then went to NUM at heeren again...
hmmm....
i think i really should get their membership card la...
i spend so much there...
argh...

then they dun have the color he wan so we took 36 to citylink.
jia wei got his second pair of flip flops at citylink...
hmmm...
i saw this bag...
black leather with white NUM on it...
cost about 200 bucks...
nice but have to save up lar...
damn ex still....

walked to suntec to find berms for myself...
shopped for it at many shops but all look so plain...
nth very interesting...
shall go to far east to get them...
as we walked, i saw this beauty shop....
its called the face shop...
went in and got several face mask...
hmmm...
the effects not bad...
gonna try the other product someday...
best part of it is parkway got the shop too!!!
whee!!!

went to carrefour again...
got water and some veg...
but we went play arcade after that...
play arcade with ur groceries?
hmmm...
haha...
fun fun fun!!!

been reading some books recently...
came across narcissism a few time...
there's this greek mythology that has got some link to this..

"classic greek mythology spoke of Narcissus,
a young greek youth who rejected the desperate advances of the nymph, Echo.
As punishment for his cruelty,
he was doomed to fall in love with his reflection in the pool of water.
Unable to consummate his love,
he pinned away and turned into a flower.

hence, the Narcissist.
A none-too-enduring term for those who love themselves above all else"

cool hor?
haha...
being a Narcissist seemed to have strange relationship of being Aj but who cares?
metro str8 men can be narcissist too!!!

anniversary presentation at SU
want to blog today but dunno wad to write...
hmmm...

start with the morning..
first woke up at 10,
cos my mum was in my room doing sth i can't remember wad,
lazed till abt 12,
got up, showered and ate,
went back to slp for another hour or so...

read my book after that...
my newly bought book...
the picture of dorian grey...
quite chim but nice...

met piggy at city hall for the coffee presentation...
hmmm...
presentation was ok...
ok only...
anniversary blend...
food pairing was curry chicken...

grading:
i give it 6/10...

be-nice comments:
not really well done...
most information can be found on coffee and tea resource manuel anyway...

PERSONAL PRIVATE COMMENTS:
total waste of time...
*no offense intended*

went for dinner at this jap restaurant...
food's pretty ok,
price ok also...

went walk walk at carrefour...
got vitasoy and cranberries...
took cab back...
dropped him off first then cab home alone..
held hands on the cab...
warm and petite...
wonder if it would be the last...
no particular emotions to this though...
hmmm...

knock your teeth out then u cannot...
off again...
this week got 4 off days sia...
so much time on my hands...
no wonder i'm feeling like a tai tai these couple of days...
just that dun have alot of money for my to spend...

met up with jia wei for lunch today...
went to Junction 8...
haven been there for ages...
Junction 8's got nothing much for me to shop anyway...
ghost town...
had korean food at the food court..
walked around abit...
wanted to try all the mooncakes at the parade square but no one attended to us...
haiz...

randomly to visit peggy at chung cheng...
took train from bishan...
gosh, the ride was super long lar...
then still have to brave the sun to walk in...
imagine 2 crazy guys trying to sun tan the inner side of their arms while walking...
anyone would think we are crazy...

reached school,
well our old school,
all hot and sweaty...
realised that popular has got such a huge signboard...
took peggy a while to realise that its us...
wakakaka

walked around chung cheng while auntie was busy...
crashed chinese compo debrief...
wave to penguin...
then tried to check out if chung sheng got aj teachers...
:P
went to the lake too...
now it looks green...
kinda gross...

went back to popular and irritated auntie buy saying wan to help her close shop early
then help her look after the shop for a while...
stay for a while then decided to go le...
nothing much to do also...
din want to wait so long...

had to brave the sun again on the way out....
hot!!!
the heat must have gotten to jia wei...
said a very random thing when i was irritating him...
so he said:" say lar, say some more... later i knock all your teeth out then you cannot do xxxxxxx..."

oh my god...
definitely caught me off guard lar...
haha...
jia wei, jia wei...

finally stopped fighting...
its been all week since i last saw him...
but he made me carry his file today...
so heavy...
*pout pout*
moving back to his place tml morning...
i miss you babe!!!

envious
just got home...
1.30 am right now...
took over mizah's closing...
with azhar and shrin...
such a sweet couple...
i'm damn envious of them actually...
being in the same system,
working in the same store(for today)
same shift some more...

and still able to work together professionally...
as in very clear that manager-partner kind of thing..
nv call baby baby or touchy touchy...
argh...
i'm jealous...
looking at them makes me think of piggy...
damn it...
i miss him...

tony roma biceps
saturday's almost over already...
haven done much today...
wake up,
eat,
shower,
do mask,
baby sit my sister,
eat and sleep again...
online,
eat,
got out,
meet piggy,
eat again...

thats it man...
my off day spent on eating and sleeping...
hiaz...

anyway i just got home...
read saffy's blog...
those memories...
awww...
felt like giving her a huge hug...
no matter wad they say, u'll always be my GOOOOD friend...
u're always welcomed at parkway...
:D

went out with piggy earlier...
had ribs at tony roma...
suntec, near to fountain of wealth...
still remember telling niu niu a few days ago that i wanted to try...
then today go eat le... :)

food there's not bad la...
bit too pricey though...
there is this waiter/server there whose damn big...
big as in tall and big kind,
not the fat and useless kind of big...
his biceps are HUGE!!!
oh my god...
never fail to amaze me with his ability
to carry so many plate full of food and still serve properly...
4 hugs plate stacked from palm to shoulder leh!!!
think his biceps are like 15cm across?
try forming a circle with your both middle fingers and thumbs...
then leave about an inch of space ur thumbs...
yeah...
thats about how thick his biceps are...
huge!

wanted to play pool after dinner but was too full...
eng wah at suntec din show 1408 either..
lousy...

so we just walked around...
wanted to take cab back but no cab seemed to want to stop...
so we drifted back to the bus stop at city hall...
thats all for today...

hairspray
just checked my semester results...
oh my god...
damn bad...
and to think i actually spent a month not working just to study...
oh my...
cumulative GPA now is like 2.5...
2.5 sia... fucking low...
haiz...

just chope-ed fard for study sessions from next sem on...
ok... gotta buck up...

anyway, went out with daniel last night...
after work that is...
at RC...
slam slam and slam the entire day...
tired...
andway niu niu pop liao...
no more lowest rank...
now private liao...
congrats niu!!!
but private dun mean u can be 2 hrs late to meet me leh...
wakaka...
wanted to catch movie at eng wah but nth to watch...
so we went to walk around...
sat at fountain of wealth and talk...
din get drinks though...
talked about things...
lots of things in fact...
took 57 back...

worked at RC today again...
din do much,
not busy also...
just coach dia on pos,
float bar and frap and do pastries...

went out with waimeng after work today...
went to watch hairspary at vivo...
like after finally then i get to catch hairspray lar...
ran into alvin and andrew right after i got the tickect...
was about to cheong into the washroom...
tsunami coming!!
but held my tsunami to chat with them...
met andrew for the first time..
hunky leh...
i envy alvin soooo much...

then waimeng arrived...
like he always does...
u'll definitely reconise that its him...
both of us wore berms and NUM...
must have looked like and AJ couple lar...
only i wore shirt while he wore Tshirt...

anyway, hairspray was damn good...
lots of singing.. light hearted ones...
covered alot...
racism and freedom of speech and mindset and alot of social stuff...
cool shit though...
zac efforn is cute but the character seemed over done...

went back after the movie...
overall, my mood's pretty good today..
should keep it that way...
:)

anniversry blend with smoke turkey neh neh
nothing much to update...
past week has been pretty normal...
din do anything very exciting...

went swimming with gabriel on friday the 7th..
after that go national library...
went to zouk at night...
with the PW people...
party party party...
sunny and isa went too!!!

worked at RC the next day...
super tired...
went home slept early...

off on sunday...
woke up late...
went out with piggy...
sushi tei lunch at paragon,
watched jap horror at cine, apartment 1303...
got a couple seat too... lucky us..
after that went walk walk,
ice cream and then went to cold storage to get dinner stuff...
went to his place..
called saffy on the way back..

attachment at valley point on monday...
slack... sian... boring...
walked to spize to buy dinner..
saw melody chan and randall tan...
VP had renovation...
closing got disrupted...

today, work at store...
mizah again...
anyway, did coffee sampling...
sumatra siborong songborng...
and anniversary blend...
food pairing: oven toasted apples and smoked turkey breast dusted with cinnmon and nutmeg powder...
results intense spicy herb flavour and accentuated earthy-ness in anniversay blend...
took a wasted trip to sentosa...
crap...
going back on thursday to do sth...
mah fan sia...

i only got 2 days at store this week...
will be attached to other stores for 3 days...
hmmm...

anyway,
went to paragon today...
pretty short shift...
normal things i do everyday...
feel like doing something different...

just realised that i haven been posting pictorial posts...
its all been words and words and more words!!!
haha...
shall make an effort to upload all those pictures from my phone...
promise i'll have lots of pictures in my next post...
haha...

ok set
bye for now
gotta work at paragon again tml...
hope someone decides to go for dinner tml last minute...
or a movie also can

i just finished reading hary potter!!!
i know that the book has been out for a while already...
and millions of people has already read the book...
maybe thousands of them have already read it a second or third time...
but well,
i just finished reading it...
and proud of it...
:D
keke...

well, was reading it on my laptop while having dinner..
i know it sounds really crazy but yea...
more focused on reading than on chewing my food...
all the food went cold...
the soup was worse...
turned really cold...

the past few days have been not too bad...
its already tuesday...
surviving ok-ly...
takes abit of getting used to though...
feels weird to reach for my phone every morning,
half-expecting an sms from piggy,
realising that there's none..

remember i was still sms-ing jia wei about that this morning...
his answer made me smile like an idiot la...
imagine that look on my face...
on the bus somemore... argh...

work was fine...
alison and adzhar was around my entire shift..
but ok la,
i'm not stressed over it,
just doing my usual stuff...
did coffee tasting also...
fizah and i wanted to do coffee tasting since yesterday,
then today chris wanted to eat chocolaty ecliar...
so we took the chance lor, got coffee plus food pairing!

dun wan to start bitching abt people today...
not when i haven got to know her properly...
we'll see how she performs...
cos she's kinda starting to remind me of sotong...
argh...

4 months
sitting in front of the computer,
thinking of what happened,
thinking of what to write,
i feel so lost.

i'm at loss of how to react...
4 months is not a long time...
neither is it a short period of time...

in the changing room,
i looked up at you from the chair,
half of me wanted to hold you close, hug you and kiss you,
it was the first time in weeks when we're actually alone.
the other half of me felt so distant for you...
it wanted to pull me right out of the room,
my legs din budge...

i din asked to be put through all these torture...
all the tears i fought to keep them in my eyes...
is it so difficult for u?
to be there?
to be there for me when i need you?

what do i mean to you?
what does being in a relationship mean to you?
does it mean to be tied down?
having to answer to a person as to where you are going?
what you are doing 24/7?
no...
it does not mean that to me...
all i am asking of you is to be there for me...
be it 10 minutes a day, 5 minutes, a minute or even just 30 seconds for that matter...
i know you may be busy,
tired with the things that you have to do,
but i don't think i'm asking for alot...
we are all looking for the same thing and that is to be loved..
i need you.
i really do..