i dun live my life for you
i realised something...
i've gotta lead my own goddamn life.
i dun live my life for anyone.
i live my life for myself... (:
yea...

since someone doesn't have time for me,
i shall go find things to entertain myself.
cos i dun live my life for you...

holidays are here,
means i can go and do the things i can't usually do when there's school...
shopping,
movies,
late night drinks,
work then supper at mas ayu,
make breakfast lunch and dinner with mummy,
laze in bed all day,
sleep on mummy's bed and get scolded,
switch off my phone and forget that i even have one...
stand on the balcony and enjoy the sun...

afterall,
i am me.
i still have to live my f*cking life.
:)

one of those days
today is one of those days...
when i dun feel like talking much...
when i dun wished to be disturbed...
when i feel like throwing my temper...
when i dun feel that i need to be polite...

feeling pretty shit ass now,
kinda tired and sleepy but more of shit ass...
in the mood to just throw my temper,
throw a baseball through the glass window,
fling plates at the wall, out the window, off the block or at someone,
stab knives through sofas and just drag all the fluff out,
burn the house down to nothing but ash...
argh...

going on attachments this week...
tan tock seng tml,
central on wed and thursday
RC on saturday...
this leaves me free on friday and sunday..
thinking of going swimming every morning,
catch some sun and look fab in white...
wish i can get some shifts at store next week...
haven been working at store for at least 1 month...
i miss pw...
miss chomot and the bloody fucking rain soaked wooden floor boards...
haiz...

had store outing yesterday...
bowling at marina square,
makan-ed at cavana,
lepak outside,
played silly old school games,
went to cash box at forum to sing...
sang till about 2...
then went to spize to supper...
ran into pooh, bear, leela...
makan again, chill, gossip, lepak went home...
boss drove me home...
reached home at 4...
damn fucking fun sia...
laughed my ass off the entire day...

i dun feel like being sweet little princess today...
too bad...
to hell with the language...
FUCK YOU!!!

muo zie
its 1.30 am now...
i'm typing this entry from my living room...
sitting on my dining chair,
facing the front door,
looking straight out to the blk opposite...

the orangy lights are on,
the cactus container on my right,
the glass container's slightly open,
everyone is the hse, maybe the entire blk is asleep...
even my pet mantis is asleep...
hasn't been moving for the last 10 minute or so..

playing some youtube video in the background...
some aj guy mumbling some confession...
really sad nostalgic story...

and here i am,
feeling cold, lonely and pretty thirsty...
haiz...

haven shower since i step into the hse...
its been 2 hrs already...
guess i can really tuo...
my mum always says that i'm a muo zie...
i dun deny...
can laze in bed for 3 hrs...
dun deny that as well...

now listening to a beyonce song...
still in love (kissing you)
all that "i'm missing-someone" feeling...
sigh...
not the sad sigh but the oh-so nostalgic kind of sigh...

looks up and notice that the corridor lights kinda spoilt,
dimmer that the rest of the lights along the corridor...

is there any other soul i'm close to whose awake now?
wish that piggy din have to go to work tml,
then can pei me talk on the phone,
i wun mind taking a cab over and nua tgt...
sigh again...

i miss piggy...
i really do...
even bastian is getting to spend time with his dar dar...
i wonder when will i get to see piggy again...
piggy, if u're reading this,
i miss you!!!
hug and kisses...

listen to whitney's houston's i will always love you...
hmmm...
slow, powerful and nostalgic,
exactly the way i'm feeling now...

i wonder what i should do now...
sigh again...
this time the long and slow one...

its almost 2...
1.54am actually
just changed song...
how do i live - Leann Rimes

just remembered i'm gonna get my NUM flip flops on friday...
most probably after work...
around 8 or 9...
think i wan get the blue one...
thinking of dragging someone to go with me...
who shall i get?
piggy's got cell group dinner,
unless is after that...
daniel? dunno..
christie? might be working..
jia wei? busy...
hmmm...
see how la...

2.03am...
guang liang - tong hua
i still want to watch 881...
argh...
feel like asking kak hari and grace to go watch...
wonder if they wan...
sms them tml...

sian...
going to be stuck at RC tml and friday...
such a drag...

2.06am
guang liang - tian tang
okok... this shall be the last song for today...
must go and shower and sleep after this...
i got a super super long day tml...
or should i say later...
haha...
class gathering, work...
thats it, 12 hrs gone... no wonder they say time flies...
more like burnt away...

good night piggy,
good night the rest of the world who might still be awake
ok bye.
ivan aka ivan-derella aka spiderpig
2.09am

topman > fox > GAP
just had dinner at home...
my dad cooked...
goodness...
the food's horrible...
urgh...
*attempt to puke everything out..*

anyway,
went for an interview with wingtai asia this morning...
as supposed to be interviewed for a position with topman...
in the end, it became fox...
interestingly though...
hope i get posted to vivo city...
well, hope i even get hired first...

went to have mac breakfast with faridah at center point after that...
fard said that GAP at center point would be small,
but when we saw it,
it was HUGE!
like maze sia...
so many entrance/ exits...
applied for job there too...
but need to commit 36 hrs per week...
damn alot...
but i still wan to enjoy my weekends...
sob sob...

attempted to study at national library after that...
finished 1 chapter and decided to get lunch...
went to delifrance... :D

saw this Tee at WH earlier...
faded vintage Tee...
it said

"if i could rearrange the alphabets, i would put U and I together"

fard and i went awww so loudly that the passerby stared at us...
i wan buy!!!

well, we kinda shopped the entire day...
din study as much as we should...
haiz...
so tired...
think i'll go shower and catch some rest first...
probably get online again later...
chiao...

rain rain rain, sleep sleep sleep
haven posted anything for a couple of days already...
nothing much i wanna write about also...

been catching up on my sleep these few days...
for the past week or so ba...
been getting around 9 or 10 hours of sleep each day...
eye bags all gone!

today is also another one of those days when i slept alot...
started raining heavily when i got up...
wonderful...
went straight back to sleep...
another 2 hours of undisturbed sleep...
*bliss*

slept in 105 on the way back...
raining heavily again...
air condition was strong...
Zzzz...

din do much at home today...
keep missing piggy...
got abit emo also...

anyway, just did mask again...
feeling all so relaxed now...
think i want to go to bed if piggy's not coming online...

but before that one,
well, maybe 2 clips from youtube...

881... yi ren yi ban


Diana Ross, if we hold on together,

i miss this cartoon...
haven watched it for at least 10 years...
remember i used to cry when the mother dino died...
hehe...
enjoy...

i wanna know
i just read something someone wrote 2 years ago...
something that made kinda made me a little upset,
a little jealous, well maybe a lot more than a little,
pretty frightened also...
insecure would be a better word i guess...

things seem to be going in the right direction...
at least that from what i can see...

but times like this,
i really feel like trashing things out with him...
i want to know the truth..
the truth about what he thinks about me...
i wanna know wads going on in his head...

i'm scared...
i really am...

i need u to hold me tight and say the truthful words i wanna hear...
i need u now...

all i ask of you - phantom of the opera
came across this song on my zen neeon today...
found the melody of this song really nice...
the lyrics really makes me go awww...




No more talk of darkness,
forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you.

Christine
Say you'll love me ev'ry waking moment;
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
promise me that all you say is true,
that's all I ask of you.

Raoul
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light;
you're safe, no one will find you,
your fears are far behind you.

Christine
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night;
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me.

Raoul
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from you solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
that's all I ask of you.

Christine
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.
Say the word and I will follow you.

Together
Share each day with me, each night, each morning.

Christine
Say you love me...

Raoul
You know I do.

Together
Love me, that's all I ask of you.

Anywhere you go let me go too

Love me...
that's all I ask of you.

pre and on national day
had struct analysis yesterday...
paper was alright...
hopefully can pass...

oh well, shan't care abt it anymore since it's over...
went to book christie's air tickets after that
next was a much needed lunch,
then we went shopping for undies!
yea,
u din read wrongly...
men's undies...
keke...
spent quite abit...
but she spent more la...
haha...

went home after that...
shower, slack, stone around abit...
went out to meet piggy after that...

went to this jap place at serene centre to have dinner...
ordered a few items only...
cos neither of us were very hungry...
well played with the soy sauce after that...
look at wad we did...












piggy did this...
damn odd for someone his age...













close up.
piggy says it looks like me...
does it?













well this is wad i did...
more artistic...
laughed ourselves silly...

the veg below was from the salad...
i dropped them on the table...
haha...
making at out of sth i can't eat...

went next door to island creamery after that...
full house sia...
quite normal for them to be full hse at night...
ordered mud pie and ice cream...
had mango gelato and tiger sorbet...
yea, tiger as in tiger beer...
nice on its own but doesn't compliment the mango...

walked to his place after that...
pretty close to serene centre actually...
watched my big fat greek wedding while chilling...
took lots of pics also...

stayed over again...
the 5th time already sia..
couldn't really Zzzz...
had a weird dream abt piggy's mum walking in on us...
:Z

woke up pretty late...
lazed around, showered, and back to taking photos...
wonder wads wrong wif us...
suddenly become shutter bugs...
went home after that...

supposed to go town for lunch de
but then too late le so din go...
ended up studying at home...

watched NDP just now..
slept through most of the parade actually..
woke up just to catch the fireworks...
love em'...
























the specs spoilt the picture la...
nvm...
next time get contacts... hehehe

here's a song by a used to be wonderful singer...
whitney houston - i have nothing...
love it...

morning sms
not in the mood to study struct analysis yet...
dunno how to do anyway...
felt like blogging so here i am...

haven been blogging for a week already...
nothing much to update anyway...
school has been boring as usual...
boring!!!
now miao san can even know when i'm about to fall asleep la...
just have to give her the bored face and we'll start laughin..
think she's seen me doze off too many times already...
hehe...

went for the simpson movie with daniel last friday...
movie was pretty stupid actually...
din really enjoy the humor...
wonder why is there so many people addicted to it...

then stayed home the entire weekend...
did some studyin...
lucky got piggy to cheer me on...
if not i'll probably end up sleeping away..

the past 2 days was pretty crappy as well...
nothing much happened also...
in fact this entry seems like crap to me as well...

took 105 with christie just now...
wanted to sleep but din...
so we just stone on the bus...
talked once in a while...
discussed about waking up to see ur other half's sms every morning...
pretty sweet thing to do for someone,
nice to be the one receiving the sms also...

in fact if piggy were to stop sms-ing me in the morning,
i'll really feel weird...
as if sth really important was missing...
really appreciate ya babe!
muacks!!!

couldn't really sleep last night...
think i should drink chamomile tea tonight...
i really need to Zzzz...
this few days of studying plus tests have taken quite a bit out of me...
yawn...

smoke salmon sesame bagel
alright..
i'm at the library now...
1 post before i start doing my practical report...
din use "short" cos i dunno how short this post's going to be...

had env science yesterday...
ended early...
so met piggy early at clementi...
needed to fix his shoe but cannot find cobbler...

he was on MC cos of cold/flu...
wasn't that sick to stay at home,
but obviously sick enough to be on MC...

so went to vivo for lunch cos i wanted japanese...
took 166 from clementi de NTUC there...

really peaceful there when we arrive at 2...
past the lunch crowd and b4 the dinner crowd...
very little people around...

first stop, NUM...
both of us wanted to get another pair of flip flops each...
i wanted his kind and he wanted my type...
but haven seen any really nice ones so wait first...

then we got hungry...
started to SEARCH for sushi tei...
damn suay went to the wrong end...
-.-

when we finally go there,
which was like 15 minutes later,
faster order cos damn hungry le...
ordered udon for me, don for him and sashimi salad to share...
like the miso soup as base...
the sashimi salad is nice!
esp when u put their house sauce...
yummy!!!
ate until pretty full...
slumped into each other after lunch...
**burp**
left as it got really cold...
air con like free sia, so strong...

supposed to go vivo mart but
went window shopping on the way there...
river island, FOX, GAP, tommy...
took like 1.5 hours to get there...
hmmm...

had lots of fun doing stupid stuff...
laugh at each other in ugly shades...
took a fishermen's hat and pretended to be a cancer patient..
then took a beanie and played with it...
also saw this marvel comic print boxer at river island...
quite nice, but also very kinky to be reading it...
keke...

got dill for the smoked salmon thingy...
then went to have drinks at HK eatery on level 2...
thirsty after all that shopping...
went off at abourt 6.15...

went to PW to buy the bagels
and also the smoked salmon with the butter head lettuce...
went home after that...
din do much studying at night..
slept early... Zzzz...

woke up at 5 this morning...
made breakfast again...
took my time at first cos i though i was still early...
was in a mad rush after the shower...
toasting,
finish up the drink,
warpping up,
style my hair...
out of the house!

finally made it on time...
phew..
hope he likes the breakfast...
alright...
think i'm done with this, feeling sleepy but nvm..
back to studyin!!!